"I'm just one of the guys"
Being a married lay person with children, I share a common ground with most of
the guys from the very beginning. Because of this commonality, there is no image
to live up to and the men begin the retreat relaxed and more able to be themselves.
"I stay out of the head space"
I prefer my retreats to be "trans-formational" rather than "in-formational".
Everyone understands from the beginning that the weekend will not be a workshop,
a seminar, a doctrinal dissertation, or a chatechetical debate, "we are just a bunch
of guys hanging out for the weekend". My focus is to keep the men resting in their hearts, not their heads. This alone can be a transformational experience for men. "I talk with the men, and not at them"
I try to meet the guys where they are on their journey, and avoid trying to force them someplace they are not ready to go. Speaking openly about my own experiences invites men to honestly look at themselves; encouraging dialogue, and expression of personal thoughts and feelings. Finding out they are not alone in their struggles can also create an opportunity for growth.
"I make time for the men"
Very often the men are going to be challenged, and new awareness will surface.
It's important that men don't feel abandoned in this newness. If I cannot address a concern within the group context, or after a presentation, I make myself available at
a later time and in more confidential setting.
"Take advantage of moments of peace and solitude to collect the grains of the Word of God and store them in the nest of your heart. In moments of confusion, when you cannot find outside yourself the peace that you seek, you can retire into yourself and feel at ease with yourself and God" Meditation on Psalm 36,11